On The Road to Positive Living: 4 Tips On How to Cut Out Toxic People From Your Life!

This blog post has been sparked by firstly, a conversation with a friend the other day and secondly, me being left alone too long in my room at uni and becoming nostalgic. Remembering all the people I once had in my life and why my circle has been persistently small and to an extent getting smaller for the last 3 years. And thirdly, because one of my long term resolutions as I get older is to live a more positive life so this is the beginning of a new blog series called "On the road to positive living." If this feels like a bit of an on-line journey to finding yourself you want to come on with me, then welcome aboard! (I can hear my Dad shouting in the back ground " Rebecca, you sound like a tree-hugging hippie!")

 Anyway... I have been cutting toxic people out of my life slowly but surely in the last few years and I'm feeling better everyday for it. But how did I end up with these people in my life? I have been informed that I am too kind a person, that I would give up everything to help someone in need if they need me at that very moment and this has allowed certain people to take advantage of me and my kindness, these people I have labelled toxic. However, you may be asking "Rebecca, what do you mean by toxic people?"

Well, quite simply, I define toxic people as those who do not support my dreams or goals and in fact do quite the opposite and completely bring me down, whether it's with their own pessimistic attitude towards life, bullying, controlling behaviour; Yes, it does happen in friendships not just among enemies.  These people seem to attract drama in their lives typically by creating it. This is typically a method of manipulation that can be utilised very easily, ever heard of the phrase "tugging at the heart strings"? Speaking from experience, being caught up in the drama of others can exhaust you mentally, physically and emotionally. Especially if these people are our friends, family or partner because you just want to help them as much as you can, which of course is natural so please don't feel any guilt about it if you recognise this behaviour! 


How to cut out these people:

I can tell you, this is not an easy process to say the least because the toxic person is usually someone close enough in your life to hurt you, it can be a close friend, a partner, a work colleague or even a family member but if they are making you feel that anxious or that depressed and you've tried talking to them about it then, you must be strong and close their chapter in your book of life. So I formulated some tips to try and help. If you thought that a new blog series would mean that I would get rid of my love for lists, then you thought wrong. 

1) Know your worth -

Typically, the toxic people in your life are themselves, damaged. Acting out and belittling you in order to make themselves feel better. But, you must remember that you are amazing, priceless and absolutely nobody has the right to make you feel insignificant. This self-confidence will be essential to taking this person out of your life and being able to move on.


2) Be persistent -

These people will probably try and stay in your life or continue to bring you down in order to make you stay, making you feel like you'll be completely alone if you don't have them in your life. This may even be a painful process for you if it's a long-term friend or relationship and it will be difficult at first but in the end you will feel freer and happier.


3) Don't isolate yourself -

Talk to new people. You have to be able to move on from who was weighing you down, create new and more positive, constructive relationships or take the time to strengthen the relationships with people who have a positive impact on your life because after all, positivity breeds positivity.

4) Learn to recognise toxic people in the future -

This is very important. We go through lives and things change, we can get new jobs with new people, new schools, new gyms and so on but we are constantly forming new relationships and as soon as you begin to identify the feelings you had from the last toxic person in your life, the quicker you can shed then off.